One more time

Ok, so there are like 2 more hours left, and I get to go home.

But still not sure why I am so excited about going home.

I will still be bored out of my mind. At least I wont be at work.

I am looking forward to the beans and cornbread my mom cooked.

it has been a while since I had that. My soup for lunch was not as satisfying as I hoped.


Sometimes I think of my life, and think...

Dang, my life sucks...
But in all actuality.. It doesn't..

I have a job, a house, food on the table, a pretty healthy little girl, a degree, a car..

I am truly blessed considering the alternatives.

So I really should not complain. But there is this thing... This emptiness that I can not explain.

I need it, and I don't know what it is...

I think it is starting to affect me, I am afraid I may be developing a case of bipolar.

I pray I am not, because I do not want to be crazy, I just want to be happy, and I think my obsession with this happiness that I can not attain, is leading down a path of self destruction.

Its strange, because I want certain things really bad, but I wont go to the extreme like some, which them makes me question do I really want it like I think I do...

oh well.. i just found something to do to keep me busy.. for a while..

im up out this mo fo